Cottesloe

Description of the home

Have you ever dreamed of living by the Indian Ocean, the sweet scent of Freo Doctor-borne Swan Draught wafting down from the OBH, and just 400m from the ground Colombian beans of Ol’ Buoy? Have you ever fantasised about waking up to the sounds of surf club boats strafing the waves at 5am and cyclists bursting out of their lycra at 6am, or are you the kind of slovenly sleeper-in who wouldn’t mind a 7am get-up courtesy of the shark-spotter chopper buzzing overhead? Well, fantasise no more as we have a choice of two rooms up for grabs in a luxurious Marine Parade apartment that will make all of your dreams come true.

If you’ve got too much money, clothing and hair product then the master bedroom (complete with ocean views, walk-in robe and en suite) has your name all over it. Or, if you’d like to live a bubbles lifestyle on an Export budget we also offer a smaller room with patio, robes and shared bathroom that will cater to your every wish and whim.

We have a garage filled with more athletic goods than Rebel Sports, and we offer fast internet, a full suite of home entertainment options and a balcony with views from Fremantle’s dinosaurs in the south, past Wadjemup and all the way north to the failed Atlantis Marine Park in Yanchep's Sun City.

We have no Uber Eats options as Cottesloe is the blandest suburb in Perth (see Velvette @ The Cott), but Canteen and Il Lido will get you fed just fine all the same. There’s no skatepark thanks to the Morrison-voting NIMBYs who call this vanilla enclave home but the beach is a worthy substitute, and that weird half footy-field thing on Grant Street is only a drop punt away.

Your new housemates are two of the biggest legends you could ever hope to share a small kitchen, medium-sized power bill and big TV with. Drake is an engineer by day and ironically an exciting human by night, while Binnsie spends most of his time either pretending to work, swimming, or passed out on the couch within the first two minutes of any show he tries to watch.

Neither roommate is ever home meaning you can swan around nude all day in between swims, soaking up the view and posting a monotonous stream of #WestIsBest sunset shots to your Instagram that will make you the envy of all your mates.

So… whatcha waiting for?

Home features

• Air-conditioning
• Living area heating
• Broadband Internet
• Dishwasher
• Clothes washer
• Study or office
• Storage room
• Balcony, patio or deck
• Courtyard, garden or yard
• BBQ facilities
• Water views

Bills and expenses

Power, gas, internet